Mind Over Fatter

Ok. Truth time. I am really struggling today.

It's amazing what a difference a day can make. Yesterday I was all self-confident perched atop my good-eating high horse and today all I want to do is just binge on whatever sweet or crunchy tidbit I can find. I haven't done it, but damn, it's getting increasingly more difficult to resist those stupid chocolate chips I was so indifferent to less than 24 hours ago.

They say the devil will find work for idle hands to do, and I think that's maybe what's going on here today. It's cloudy and there's winter weather brewing in the air. I should be doing some of my school work but my motivation seems to be playing hide and seek with me, and apparently I'm the one whose turn it is to do the seeking. Josh built a fire and I have camped my butt firmly on the couch to watch a marathon of Beachfront Bargain Hunt and all I can think about is eating. Ugh. Why?

I know that in my last post I said I had a plan for when I get "bored" and I do. And I'm pretty sure this is boredom, not real hunger, that I'm feeling. Of course, I have a million and one things I could and should be doing, none of which are appealing at the moment. So here I sit, idle. Except my mind is on overdrive trying NOT to think about how much I'd like a big ole' bowl of ice cream or piece of cake (neither of which I have on the premises, thank God) or the frozen Charleston Chew I spied hidden in the back of the freezer last night. So much for having no temptation in the house. Apparently there is some.

I just gotta buck up here. There are going to be plenty more days like this ahead in this journey, so I may as well get used to them. It's how I handle them that's going to be key. I don't know if I handled today "correctly" or not but I gave it my best attempt on a day when I felt like I could have really dove off the diet ledge. So far my food consumption has included the following: An apple with 2 Tbsp natural peanut butter for breakfast, 2 cajun turkey & swiss roll ups & 1/2 can Progresso Light chicken soup for lunch, and 5 celery stalks and approximately 3 Tbsp lite ranch dressing for snack. Dinner will be a 3 oz portion of skirt steak, a sweet potato and steamed broccoli. Not bad for the day, all told. Or am I delusional?

Josh is out in the kitchen cooking the steak now and it smells like heaven. No, it's not chocolate, but it will be delicious all the same. And it certainly won't feel like I'm being deprived.

I think I'm going to survive this day.