Feeding the Hunger

Happy Saturday, friends.

I'm a day late with getting my Friday weigh-in post up, but when I got home last night I was feeling rather tired and uninspired, so I decided to wait. Besides, it's hard to type when your eyes are half-closed.

I wouldn't exactly say I've been bowled over with inspiration since last evening. However, I did come across the quote in the picture at the top of my blog today while perusing Pinterest for clean eating recipes, and something about it spoke to me.

This past week, a couple people have asked what I am doing on this "diet" in order to be successful. I feel a little weird using the word "successful" this soon, as I am only two weeks deep into this thing. In my mind, I'm only going to be the true definition of "successful" when I am down to a weight I can live with happily ever after. I really don't know what that number is, but right now the overarching goal is to lose 100 pounds. It's lofty for sure, but unfortunately it's not a far-fetched necessity. Even if I lose that much, those stupid height/weight charts that the doctors have lying around their offices to make you feel like crap, will tell me I am still overweight. Sometimes, being Lilliputian-short bites the big one.

When I was asked about what I am doing (this time around), it was really very simple to answer. This first phase of my new way of living involves overhauling my diet and actually thinking about what I  put in my mouth. Gone are the chips, crackers, dips, pasta, and most bread products. I've also kissed the majority of processed foods good-bye with the exception of a few things like Lean Cuisines (allowed a few times a week if needed) because they are a convenient portion controlled lunch option for me at the moment. Remember, I am taking baby steps here - and although I want to eat as clean as possible, there is something to be said about having an easy option every now and again so I don't go barrel-assing into a Five Guys at high noon with a feed bag strapped on my face when I'm feeling vulnerable.

Believe it or not, in the not so distant past, being unprepared for hunger or "boredom" was deadly for me. There were times I would come home after work, walk in the door and be ravenous. Or, there were times I was just sitting around the house watching TV or surfing the web and I'd think, "Hey! I'm bored/tired/happy/angry/anxious/upset/enter whatever emotion you want here! I want food!" Even if our house was stocked with healthy food options like fruits and veggies, if there was a bag of Hershey Kisses in my line of sight, I'd make a beeline to it and munch on those bad boys like my life depended on it. Until I was full. Or felt sick. Whichever came first. Same rule applied to chips, or other kinds of candy, or even cheese and crackers. And do you know how small a serving size of cheese is supposed to be? One ounce...or, the size of your thumb. Come on. Who am I kidding? Let's just say if I ate a piece of cheese the size of a thumb, it surely wasn't my thumb.  Paul Bunyun's maybe. But definitely not mine.

So, the thought provoking quote above says, "If you're not hungry enough to eat an apple, then you are not hungry." It's a great quote, and now that I'm 2-weeks clean from my carb and sugar-laden food coma, I can see they're also words to live by. Before, when I wanted food - truly hungry or not - I never took the time to stop and think that eating an apple, or some carrots, or maybe a handful of raisins and nuts, would take away my hunger - not just as well, but better than - a boat-load of Hershey Kisses or whatever other quick bad-food fix I went for to satisfy my need to eat. I made meals out of chocolate and chips for God's sake. The FIRST time that happened, red flags should have been waving all around me.  And perhaps they were, but I suppose ignorance can a beautiful thing when you want it to be.

This new approach to eating has forced me rethink what my options are for satisfying hunger. You better believe they don't include Hershey Kisses (sob!). As a matter of fact, there isn't a damn thing in my house right now, other than baking supplies,  that I consider a temptation. And even that larger-than-life sized bag of semi-sweet chocolate chips isn't all that tempting. When I'm hungry, truly hungry, I have learned to make good choices. Apples, oranges, yogurt or nuts. And when I have down time at home and I'm feeling restless, I have learned that food isn't the answer. Water is. Sleep is. Talking to my husband or a friend is. Allowing myself 15 minutes before acting on anything is - to see if it's true hunger or just a craving. These are game changers for me.

I'm not going to blow smoke up anyone's rear and say that the last two weeks have been a walk in the park. I'm still thinking about and missing the bad foods I've banished and I still crave sweets (although far less than I did at the onset of this new eating program)....but the important thing is, I'm not acting on it. I'm not Mother Theresa so I know that I will have days where there will be cake and chocolate down the road. But for now, I'm content in knowing I am learning a healthier approach to eating. I must admit, I can't wait until the day where wanting to reach for an apple as a snack is second nature, versus wanting to jam a Snickers bar in my face. Yes, I still want the Snickers. But I don't have the Snickers. I have the apple. But I have to tell myself I want the apple, and that is the part I wish would feel natural. I know that it will in time. And, if I am learning anything with this process, it is patience.

I am two pounds lighter this week (6.25 lbs gone total), so I guess whatever I have been doing is paying off. I'm going to keep it up and fingers crossed, let it take me all the way to my goal this time. Wish me luck!