Good God - if we have one more bloody snow day I think I'm going to scream. Don't get me wrong. If I wasn't dieting, I probably wouldn't care if we had 10 snow days in a row. But the reality is that I am dieting...and being at home is absolutely friggin' killing me.
I need routine. I need to be busy. One might think I should be busying myself here at home, but I swear this weather has put a spell of complete lazy-assism on me and any motivation I may have once had to be productive is sinking as quickly as the temperatures outside. My ears hear "snow day" and my body takes it immediately to heart. We're talking instant hibernation mode. I become lethargic and slothful and no matter how much I try to get things accomplished around here, I can't seem to do more than a few simple chores before I hop back on my computer to mindlessly peruse Pinterest. What a waste of time. Plus, looking at all of those recipes is something akin to water boarding myself. And my own kitchen has become Gitmo.
Thank goodness for one of my best friends who called during a near moment of weakness. I love that she didn't mind spending 2 hours gabbing away on the phone with me, even helping me talk myself out of turning the big old batch of overripe bananas hanging out on my counter top into a big old no-no of a dessert. When life hands you lemons, you're suppose to make lemonade, right? Well, if life hands you overripe bananas, I'm pretty sure you're supposed to make a cake. What? ...Is that not a saying? Perhaps not. But let's just say you have no idea how much your gift of conversation helped me today, Val. I am forever grateful.
Days like today are harder than others. It might be sacrilegious to say this as a teacher (we generally tend to covet our snow days), but I like it better when I am at work and busy. I don't want to be an annoying dessert-deprived whiner, but I feel like I've had more than my share of a few idle days at home like this recently and this blog is my outlet to vent about them. Besides, if I'm typing, I can't be jamming my face with food.
Days like today demand that my mental willpower kicks into overdrive. I have to somehow summon Superman strength to avoid whatever food kryptonite might be lurking in the kitchen. Or as I'm calling it these days, the Devil's Lair. Apparently, I have reached the dieting stage where EVERYTHING is tempting now - even that gross half-eaten bag of stale tortilla chips that has been hanging out on top of the radiator for weeks (why the hell is it still there?). Even that looks good to me. It's as if my taste buds have no shame. They beg to be slathered in something, anything, that isn't in the fruit, veggie, or protein family. Carbs and sugar, baby. That's the ticket. That's what they want.
Why are some people seemingly pre-wired to crave sugar like heroin? (Hand raised high right here). My friend and I talked a little bit about that today - the fact that she doesn't really have a sweet tooth. Yeah, I don't get it either. I was born with a mouth full of sweet teeth. It's fair to say I have had a wicked sugar addiction from the moment I could eat solid foods. Some of my earliest (and best) childhood memories involve having a hefty thick square of chocolate cake smothered in fudgy icing....for breakfast. I simply cannot fathom what it is like to NOT want sugar. I wish to all that is holy that I did.
Of all the things I am proud of since beginning this journey, the fact that I have not gone off the rails of this crazy train and caved into that addiction is at the top of the list. I've done everything possible to stay away from sugar as much as possible. I've admitted to having some chocolate and one or two cupcakes from a birthday treat at school - but that's really it. And for me, that is saying something - big time. I think about it constantly and have to talk myself out of giving in to the desire daily. In a way, I feel like a recovering addict. I wouldn't give a shot of vodka to an alcoholic, and I shouldn't give myself a "hit" of sugar either. The stakes aren't quite as high, but they're high enough. I have to keep reminding myself of that.
Cleaning out dresser drawers and putting away laundry certainly does not bring me the same joy as baking and eating a banana cake with cream cheese frosting, but it did help me get over a rough patch today, and for that, I am thankful. Talking to my friend was a saving grace as well. In other words, there are ways to get around the enemy. I'm learning.
If Mother Nature has her way, I'll be staring down another day like today, tomorrow. Luckily for me, I have a pile of laundry that isn't going to wash itself and some serious school work that needs doing. Friday should be back to normal.
Just in time for the weekend.
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