Crimes of Fashion

At least this get-up adds height.

It's not your typical Sunday morning around here. It's the Sunday morning associated with Daylight Savings Time. Spring ahead and all that jazz. It's the Sunday everyone seems to hate because (gasp!) we lose that precious hour of sleep. Being a hard core coveter of extra sleepy time myself, I used to loathe this day, too - but this year I'm kind of embracing it. It's been such a looooooooong winter of what seemed like perpetual cloudiness and darkness - so I'm already planning what I can do with that extra hour of daylight. It almost makes me giddy.

Perhaps it's the fact that spring is but a mere 12 days away. That alone is enough to make me click my heels in delight (if only I could jump high enough to do such a thing without landing flat on my face). I miss seeing green grass, feeling the warm sunshine and opening windows to air out our house. I will not miss having to warm my car up for 15 minutes, the feeling of frozen toes and the threat of snowpolalypses (snowpocalypsi??) every other day. Admittedly, I've been a bit of a hermit this winter. Not UniBomber hermit-like, mind you....but close. I've not ventured too many places other than school and the grocery store for what seems like months on end. It feels like the last time I spent any quality time with anyone other than my husband and canine children was in December - and frankly, the cabin fever is really starting to kick down the door.

So, what's a girl to do when she's got a severe case of the winter blahs and blues? She heads to the mall, of course! I had a couple of Macy's gift cards that have been burning a hole in my pocket and figured a little retail therapy might get me out of my funk. In theory, it sounded like a solid plan. Having gift cards is essentially like going shopping and walking out of the store with "free" clothing, no? The problem is, when you weigh as much as I do, finding clothes that look good on you, is like finding that proverbial needle in a haystack. Fun is not a word I'd use to describe the experience.

I just have one thing to say. Fat fashion is hideous. We're talking Elephant Man meets Quasimoto and they have a baby type hideous. Strolling around Macy's yesterday made my blood boil in a way it hasn't in a long time. It seems the bigger the size, the tackier the color palette, the uglier the print, the more unflattering the cut and style. It's like Stevie Wonder was put in charge of the plus size design department and had a field day. To add insult to injury, prices are higher for "women's" size clothing versus their "regular" missy sized counterparts because they are bigger. You know, because being fat isn't punishment enough, now your wallet has to get kicked where the sun don't shine, too. What irks me is that you don't see petite sized garments priced for less than missy size, despite them being smaller....so what gives? Try as I might, it's hard not to take it personally.

As an ex-fashion designer, this type of fat-shaming hits closer to my heart than you know. I LOVE clothes and fabrics and color and design and subscribe to the belief that more often than not, clothing can make you or break you. For me, when I find that outfit that makes me look good and feel good, I carry myself differently. For the short time that I am wearing it, I feel less fat, less frumpy, less conspicuous for the wrong reasons. In other words, less like Jabba the Hut. For a while I feel pretty and don't have to think about what people are thinking of me. A good outfit can change my outlook on a given day or night and allow me to finally be the person I feel like I am on the inside. It's an amazing gift.

The bitch of it is, those prized outfits are few and far between. For someone who gets her rocks off shopping as much as I do, I can honestly say that a huge percentage of the clothing I buy is because I think it doesn't look that bad, versus thinking it looks really good. And that, my friends, is a really f'd up way to shop, I gotta tell you. I pay good hard-earned money, not for clothing that I love - but for things that simply pass muster. De. Press. Ing.

My weight, coupled with my (lack of) height, makes shopping next to impossible. It's akin to trying to dress a basketball. With boobs. And a big butt. I'll let you think about what that looks like for a second. My husband wants to know what takes me so long at the mall. Obviously he has no idea how long it takes to find a garment that flatters a body that often feels as wide as it is tall. This is very much how I felt yesterday as I perused racks upon racks of tops so fugly they nearly made my eyeballs bleed. Never mind trying to find pants for legs with an inseam to rival that of a pygmy goat. Charge extra for plus size? What about the 10" of fabric I have to cut off of nearly every stinking pair of pants to make them a proper length for my height? If I send that fabric back to the manufacturer do you think I'd get some of my money back? Me neither.

If there ever was a motivating force driving my weight loss journey, fashionable clothing would be firmly planted at the wheel. Pedal to the metal, y'all.

What yesterday's trip to Macy's did for me is plant yet another seed of reality. Weight loss is not just about one thing, such as becoming thinner. It is about a plethora of things. Things that may seem insignificant or shallow, such as wanting to wear prettier, more stylish clothes. And things that are much more urgent and paramount, like getting health concerns under control. And there are a whole lot more reasons - big and small - in between. I'm sure over the lifetime of this blog, I'll talk about many of them. But for today, I'll just stick to the gripe I have about the fashion industry screwing plus size women over a barrel.

The week ahead, with it's new daylight hours brings a fresh start and an opportunity for new beginnings. I'm feeling good about my eating plan and exercise plan this week. I'll be consuming more veggies than I can shake a stick at, plus I'm even trying my hand at yoga this week! Because of the extra daylight, I'll be able to come home and take walks after school as well. I see no reason why this week I can't amp up my exercise. It shouldn't be too difficult, as it's been next to non-existant. One Latin Dance workout during the week does not constitute an exercise plan. I'm sorry.

I really want this week to be a game changer. I feel confident that I can make good choices and get moving. With a loss of 1.25 lbs this past week, I'm now in double digits! While I am happy with the progress, I feel I can do better. I want my weigh in on Friday to be cause for a seriously obnoxious happy dance. Fingers crossed.

Food for thought: What will you do this week to make sure it's a good one?