Why is it that every time I decide to go on a diet, life seems to suddenly go in slow motion? I can't believe it's only Wednesday and that I have only been doing this new clean diet plan for 4 days.
Have no fear - I'm not falling off the wagon! As a matter of fact, I feel really good and am proud of the changes I have been able to make in just 4 short days. But if I said that it has been super easy to flip this switch, I'd be lying.
Time seems to have slowed to a crawl. I am aware of each minute of the day and for the first time in a loooong time, I am trying to use this heightened sense of awareness to really listen to my body. For most of my life, I have eaten food with little to no regard of whether or not I was actually hungry. I only cared that I was putting something in my mouth that tasted delicious. I never thought much about nourishment. I never cared much about the nutrition (until after whatever it was was all gone and the gluttonous guilties set in). And I never respected myself enough to not treat my body like a waste dump for baked goods, candy, and calorie-rich foods in general. I always acted like I was entitled to eat anything I wanted, despite the number on the scale creeping ever higher with each passing year. I was aware of what was happening, and yet felt paralyzed to really do anything about it that would be a permanent solution. Don't get me wrong - I knew what to do. I just never did it. Not with 100% commitment anyway. I still don't know why.
This past year has been especially eye-opening in terms of my eating and weight gain. About a week ago, I was at my heaviest weight ever. Not surprising, considering I had been having a pretty torrid love affair with chips and dip for the better part of the fall and early winter. The holiday peanut brittle and cookies were culprits too, as was my favorite meal of all time - pizza. Don't forget those festive cocktails for every season. Oh, the cocktails...perhaps I love them just a tad too much. The thing is, I knew I was eating out of control, but there was a part of me that didn't want to stop. I stopped weighing myself back in late September and it was kind of like giving myself a free pass to go ape-shit. And then one day I realized that my underwear - yes - underwear - felt tighter. I kid you not. It makes you sit up and think, I'll tell you that much.
I kept thinking about what would happen if I kept up what I was doing. Would I one day wake up, try to get dressed for work only to find I no longer had any pants that fit? It was a fast-approaching scenario. Yes, I knew I could buy more pants, but buying a bigger size than what I currently wear is where I draw the line. No more. I knew I needed to turn myself around, and fast.
So, here I am. Day 4. I'm planning meals and making good choices. I know that preparation is going to be my best friend when it comes to being successful. Having healthy options on hand and keeping old standbys far, far away will be crucial. My plan is to get my eating under control before I begin my exercise regimen. In the past I have gone balls to the wall with eating and working out right out of the gate, only to find it overwhelming and ultimately, discouraging. Although I know being active is paramount to a healthy lifestyle, the food situation must be reigned in first. I'm giving myself a month to get it down. Then, I'll Zumba my ass off.
My official weigh in-days will be Fridays, although I am now being much more religious about hopping on the scale daily. I know body weight fluctuates from day to day (or even hour to hour) so I won't post weight loss until my official weigh in day...but suffice it to say I am happy so far with what the scale is doing! Here's to the rest of my life!
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