A Fresh Start

Oh, here we go again....

How many times have I sat in front of my computer to write about the subject of losing weight? In order to answer that question, I guess I'd have to revisit the 3 previous weight loss blogs I've authored and count the number of posts I've made on the topic.  

My first attempt at regular blogging started back in May 2009 with a blog entitled "Nice Day for a Weight Wedding" where I religiously made 102 posts documenting my pre-wedding and newlywed diet woes all throughout my engagement and 6 months post-wedding. Then came "Does This Blog Make My Butt Look Fat?" which ran from July 2011 to September 2012. The 103 posts written there chronicle my most successful attempt at weight loss in my adult life. I was in grad school, not working, and was hitting the gym with a trainer and serious about my health. And then I got a job. And life as I knew it changed - mostly for the good, unless that is, you're talking about my weight. What came next was the blog "Life Anew at 42" - the biggest bust of a weight loss blog if there ever was one. It launched the end of December 2013 and ran to the beginning of January 2015 with all of 6 posts to it's name - so I guess you know how well I did with weight loss last year, right? Oy vey!

So why another weight loss blog? Why bother spending the time to spill my guts about the trials and tribulations of shedding weight when seemingly, it does nothing to help? 

Here's the thing: It does help. Sometimes you just need a safe place to say what you want to say about what may easily be the most difficult thing I will ever have to do in my life, and I have found that in the blogosphere. And this time, I've invited people I care about to share this journey with me. In the past, I've not been very public about my attempts at dieting and my unhealthy relationship with food. Mainly that's because it's embarrassing to me. Sure, I've let some people in - but I've mostly hidden this struggle under the guise of a good angled head shot on Facebook. Can I get a "hell yeah" if you know what I'm talking about?

It's a well known fact that most full-figured people don't dig the full body shot. I know I don't. I don't avoid the camera entirely but I do try to keep any and all full body length documentation at bay when I can. Why? Because of stupid "tagging" on Facebook where anyone can have a craptastic fat picture of me and tag it for everyone and their mother to view.  And if people see that picture, that means my secret is out. But come on -  really? It's not a secret because people see me everyday live and up close and know what I look like. Hell - I see it myself when I stare in the mirror. Hiding those full body shots doesn't mean I'm not fat. The fat doesn't magically disappear if there are no pictures to prove its existence. It doesn't work that way, no matter how much I wish it did. The truth is, I avoid these pictures because if I present them to the world, I have to own them. I have to admit to more than just myself and my husband and those that I see everyday, I gotta whole lotta junk in my trunk that isn't pretty. Up until this point, this is what I've done - hide.  And where has that gotten me?

So today is a new beginning. A new start. A new declaration and a new blog to help me sort out the tough stuff that perhaps I can't verbalize out loud, but can type for my own therapeutic purposes. It might be a bit of a wimpy approach, but hey, baby steps. I do promise full honesty on here - so if you do decide to follow this, please know I will not be holding back. You'll get the good,  the bad and the ugly - so I hope I don't offend anyone.

Thanks for being a part of my journey. I need all of the support I can get if this is to be the last time I go down this path....and God willing, it is.